Monday, March 5, 2012

After cheap fireworks show fails to attract sasquatch, FINDING BIGFOOT team vows to pull out big guns!

After rousing only a pack of appreciative coyotes with a fireworks display during last night's Indiana-based episode, Matt Moneymaker and crew have declared that the third season opener of Animal Planet's FINDING BIGFOOT will feature more than bigfoot ever bargained for: the firing of a self-propelled M109 Army Howitzer! 

All intelligent animals move towards fiery explosions and loud noises which could be perceived of as an attack.

"If this doesn't shake the fuzzy bastards into view, I don't know what will!" shouted James "Bobo" Fay during a test barrage at the United States Army Field Artillery School at Ft. Sill, Oklahoma earlier today. Rumors that the light-suited Utah chapter of the Flying Elvises skydiving team are being held in reserve as a possible future sasquatch attractant remain unconfirmed at press time.

Big guns for bigfoot: Size comparision of squatch, M109 and average human.

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